2002-12-14 : 9:31 p.m.
Living a hell Living your ghost Living your end


Current Song:
Current Rant:
Current Obsession:

Oh fuck you. Fuck the world. Life fuckin' sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. Go to hell. Just go rot and burn in hell for all internity. Fuck.

As you fuckin' can see, life fuckin' sucks. Go on fuckin' rants about how much this fuckin' sucks doesn't even help. It just sucks so much. Everything fuckin' sucks. No matter how much I turn the music up I just can't stop hearing myself cry. I just can't fuckin' stop. I can't breathe, I can't see, I can't talk, I can't. I just can't. The pain just won't stop and it hurts so fuckin' much. Fuck. I just can't breathe. The pain just won't stop. God, I'm half tempted to just put on Bush's "Letting the Cables Sleep" and play it over and over again. That song just shows the pain so damn well. Fuck.

Bush

Letting The Cables Sleep

You in the dark

You in the pain

You on the run

Living a hell

Living your ghost

Living your end

Never seem to get in the place that I belong

Don't wanna lose the time

Lose the time to come

Whatever you say it's alright

Whatever you do it's all good

Whatever you say it's alright

Silence is not the way

We need to talk about it

If heaven is on the way

If heaven is on the way

You in the sea

On a decline

Breaking the waves

Watching the lights go down

Letting the cables sleep

Whatever you say it's alright

Whatever you do it's all good

Whatever you say it's alright

Silence is not the way

We need to talk about it

If heaven is on the way

We'll wrap the world around it

If heaven is on the way

If heaven is on the way

I'm a stranger in this town

I'm a stranger in this town

If heaven is on the way

If heaven is on the way

I'm a stranger in this town

I'm a stranger in this town

Man. That song describes so damn well how I feel. I'm a stranger in my house. In my family. In the world. I am just so damn alone. I hate writing person crap in this cause I'm a damn fuckin' bitch who care far to much what other people thing most of all my self to write anything that means fuckin' anything cause I fuckin' suck. I should rot in hell till... forever. I fuckin' suck.

So does she. She sucks more than anyone will ever know. Because of her I have no family. I have no one. No one at all. She doesn't care about me at all. None what so ever. I'm sure she'll come in here and ground me for life cause the music is so fuckin' loud. Well. Fuck her. I could fuckin' care less. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why the hell don't I have a family? I have no one. SHE has Glenn (the ignorant son of a bitch that should rot in... no should just be tortured worse that hell could ever torture a soul (or lack there of). AH has Gary. Seth's just gone and if he really needed someone, he'd have Emily. And then there is me left with no one. No one at all. SHE even told me forced to chose, she'd rather be with him and so damn me because I don't mean nearly as much as HE does. I guess that means the he (not HE) means nothing to here any more. I guess once someones gone, the evaporate from the brain for all of eternity. I didn't like him all that much when he was here, but that because I don't remember. I remember being grounded for not drinking my milk and such and then I remember the babbling gorg I tried so hard to never see. The one in diapers who could talk or remember me or do anythink. The one who was so fuckin' ill. God erase that memory from my mind forever. I just have never felt so unloved as I do know. Oh damn. Oh damn. Damn. Damn. Why does it hurt so bad? Why, why, why? Oh god why? Make it stop. Dry my tears. Let me breathe. And if you can find it in your heart, let someone love me, don't keep me as 2nd, 3rd, 199th, 49992835098309239280938048569043690843987th fiddle. I have having no one. I hate it so damn much.



Last Five Entries

Peter Jennings - 2005-08-08
- - 2005-08-08
night i'd not like to repeat - 2005-06-20
- - 2005-06-19
so i'll update - 2005-06-07


<< | >>