2004-04-03 : 10:42 a.m.

Current Song: "Run to Me" Clay Aiken
Current Obsession: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I�m writing all my entries now in word first so that I don�t accidentally become more stupid than I already am and delete it or so that diaryland doesn�t live up to the stupidity that it�s known for and delete it. Yeah. So yeah. I�m over it.

Yesterday actually started off quite well. I slept well until 8:15 when Kat got up and then 8:25 when she shut the window immediately before heading to class. Yes, it makes so much sense. All I can say is don�t shut the goddamn window! Especially if you are leaving the room. Put on more layers but don�t make me suffer because you prefer to wear short sleeve shirts and are cold all the time because of that. Ahhhhh! I�m telling you, I should have known based on that what the day would end up as. Note for later: when someone messes with the window and thus causes you to wake up and not be able to sleep anymore, that really will have an impact (directly or indirectly) on the rest of your day. AHHHHHHHH! Ok, I�m over it. For today that is.

So I ended up getting up and heading down to the CHAT to get breakfast but there wasn�t anything good so I got cereal and cold eggs and a piece of toast. None of it tasted very good. No fun. I brought it back to the room and ate, watched tv, and looked over my French notes. Ugh. Not fun. Not even the TV. I got to see Mark Greene die again. How could that be fun? Depressing is NOT fun. Gaah. Ok, I�m over that too.

Anyway, before French, I headed down to the computer lab in Boyer to print out a copy of my English paper only because I still don�t have ink in my printer. Why oh why do printer cartridges that happen not to have much ink in them cost so much money??? It makes no sense. No sense I tell you. Ugh. Sticking with the phrase of the day, I�m over it. Except this time I�m not.

Yes. Next. I took my French test and it�ll probably be the quiz grade that I drop. I fear it�ll be the first non A grade I managed to get in French this semester. That just sucks. Grrr. Oh well. I�m over it. No I�m not. My problem with our French quizzes are that she tells us what chapters the test is on so you study those chapters just to find that half of the test is on the next chapter, the chapters we�ve yet to watch French In Action for. Ahhhh! It drives me crazy. Ali and I sat in class complaining about that after we turned our papers in. It just bothers me, that�s all. Ugh. And this time, I really am over it. Or so I hope.

After watching the next chapter/ episode of French In Action, we got to leave and I called Grace back about setting up a job interview. Right now the Tuesday after Easter. Hell, at least I have an interview. Of course whether I�ll get the job remains to be seen and the pay is crap, but what can ya do? Pay is pay. And I�m over that just so that I can be over something to fit the unintentional theme of the rest of the entry.

Ok, Euro was Euro. We talked about the Holocaust, Night, and watched part of some film so that we could see Lithuanians getting killed. Was quite fun. Or not. Ugh. Danielle and I determined today that we don�t think that Haywood realizes that we aren�t the same person. It seems rare that in any given class both of us are there. Well, we usually are both there once a week? And then we split the other days up. Haha. And on days I�m not there, she makes matters worse and sits in my seat (only so that she can get the handouts)� Lol. I�m not sure if he notices or at least if he cares. It�s not like he ever takes attendance and since both of out midterms and papers were in the A range, he really can�t complain all that much. It�s not really a participation class either, just him lecturing so� Yeah. I�m over it. He doesn�t no who I am. I actually don�t care! Yay!

Then came hell. I fucking despise English. I am sure that one of these days I�m just going to let go and freak out in the middle of that class. I cannot deal with that class. I feel like am in middle school in that class. It�s so dumbed down it�s not even funny. �do ya�ll know what a fucking roman numeral is?� �No, of course we don�t, we are just a bunch of idiots that managed to get through our lives having never figured out what a fucking roman numeral is.� Oh and it gets better! Friday�s class we got to read out loud the preface to something in groups and then answer questions about it in our groups. We got to discuss exactly what a preface is because he asked us all, �Do you all know what a preface is? A Preface? Preface? P-R-E-F-A-C-E? What is a preface? Somebody take a guess and tell me what you think a preface is? Preface. PREFACE. Preface. Somebody tell me!� AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I refuse to speak in that class because if I do I will just freak out and then hell will break loose. AHHHHHH! I fucking hate Derik Smith! AHHHHHH. I�m over it. Really. Or not.

SO I guess I should say that was the turning point in the quality of my day. Not that my day was good before that point, but it didn�t fucking suck. Hell, I�m getting bitter right now just taking about it. Ughhhhhh. I cannot deal with that class!!!! Thank god the year is almost over or I�d shoot myself in the head right this minute so I�d never have to deal with that class again. AHHHH. Ok. I headed to the dining hall to get something to eat after English, but that didn�t work. There wasn�t anything to eat. I had a small salad and tried to make a sandwich but the mayo tasted like sour cream miracle whip and I couldn�t eat because of that. I ended up stealing some apples before leaving. I�m over it.

I got back to the room just to be an idiot and check my e-mail. What did I find other than an e-mail from Sarah telling me that she needed my PowerPoint info that day so instead of heading to Greylyn I spent the next 20 minutes doing a job that should have taken me 2 hours. Needless to say, fuck. I have no clue what I�m saying and now I have a powerpoint that I might not even agree with! Damnit! Fuck! AhhhH! I�m over it.

I�m not sure if I mentioned the fact that it was raining?? Well, it was. I also might not have mentioned that Barb called me Thursday and convinced me to help catch on Fridays for a few weeks to get Ellen trained. I agreed because as I�ve hinted at before, I�m an idiot. Of course, RAIN. I manage to get to Greylyn at 4:30 to find Ellen no where in site. Joy. Barb was on Mooch and he was actually sound. Wow. Yeah so I get tack, Fergie, and then am stuck dealing with the idiot Phelps boy. Oh well, I forced him to go groom and tack up Fergie. Then Ellen appeared and it turns out she went to get Barney and Huggy and couldn�t catch either of them. AHHHHH fuck. So because Huggy is now down at Traffic light with Innuendo and top field is actually closer, I grabbed a halter for Diamond who was needed as well, and headed back down for her. It seems that if a horse doesn�t walk up to her, she can�t catch him. AHHHH. So I caught Diamond and Barney and handed them to her and made my way down to get Huggy, who really wasn�t all that hard to catch. I made my way back to the ring and by the time I was there, I was completely soaked. Now, tell me this, how come by the time I got up with Huggy, she had only managed to reach the gate of Oliver�s field? It makes no sense! Anyway, we started grooming and she was slow at that too. The point is, the horses aren�t going to be perfect, they are wet and such so don�t even try!!!!! Argh. So I groomed Huggy, Timmy, and Barney and got them decent enough in the time that it took her to do Oliver. She started Diamond and spent what seemed to be forever on her. I told her, just get the saddle area and girth area and start tacking, but did she listen? No. I finally sent her just to go tack her up. I did Barney, Timmy, Oliver, Huggy in the time that it took her to put a saddle on Diamond. Allison actually had to go over and finish Diamond. Ugh. I sent her to get Forsooth as I got my stuff for Monet. I should have already realized just how crappy my day was going to get, but NO. I�m an idiot. I sunk in Monet�s field. It was even worse than when I got Fergie. Not good. Ugh. So I had wet feet, muddy jeans, and everything just started to suck from there. Ugh. Ok. I got Monet tacked up and groomed as quickly as possible and was only a few minutes late for the lesson. Not too bad. However, the lesson sucked. Not only were Allison�s kids everywhere, but Monet was in a fucking awful crappy mood. Ugh. I spent much of my lesson circling at one end of the ring trying to avoid people and the rest of the time trying to keep Monet calm. The lesson actually started well. I did some stirrupless stuff and it wasn�t bad. My legs are still weak, but oh well. My problem was that Monet was just everywhere, but where I wanted her to be. She just wasn�t listening to my legs, hands, voice� Grrr. Drove me crazy. However, all hell broke loose when we switched directions. Monet decided to give me hell in my attempt to keep her slow, hell to keep her walking/trotting. Ugh. I circled more and more and more. Mixed things up on her, talked to her, circled her�. Ugh. Then when I finally wanted to jump and stuff, people just kept getting in my way!!!! AHHHHH. I actually survived the lesson though I must have looked like crap. Oh well. Getting my saddle off Monet was another challenge in itself. Finally she was cool, turned out, and tack cleaning began. Luckily I had Barb and Allison and even Mike helping, but I don�t think it was till then that I even realized just how crappy my mood was. Hell, I was ready to kill Mike at that point and I�m not sure why. Ugh. I must admit that I was just so talkative at that moment. I think anything people said to me that required a response was answered with a one-word answer. What can I say? I was wet, cold, hungry, and was ready to kill the world. I must admit though, Allison�s ripped up checks were amusing though. Somehow she managed to rip up 3 of her checks form that night and she�s not even sure why or how she managed that. Too funny. Anyway, I managed to leave at 8:00ish and all I can say was I�ve never been that happy to get out of there. I drove home on 401 behind some slow idiot cursing the world out in my head. Lol. Oh well, at least by now, I can truly say that I am over it. I just hope I don�t get berated in the future for all that� ugh.

Sigh. So there was my yesterday recap. Life can suck sometimes and I don�t have a fucking clue why I just got so bitter. I think it was the rain or the cold or being soaked to death by rain and mud, or who the hell knows. Oh well. This weekend better be better. If not� I won�t be over it. However, for now, hopefully I am over it.

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