2004-02-28 : 6:41 p.m.
uses of vodka


Current Song: dance with my father -- luther vandros
Current Rant: being female
Current Obsession: nothing

You gotta love the completely random forwards my mailbox gets filled with from Jo...

Vodka ~ Who would have thunk it??

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and

mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12 ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen ounce trigger spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one half cup vodka and one half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refresh able ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set it in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then applies the tincture to aches and pains.

11. Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Mix with warm water and rinse your mouth. Don't swallow.

12. Using a Q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore to help it dry out.

13. If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermas.

14. To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your scalp and let dry.

15. To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria that are the causing pain in your ear.

16. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

17. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

18. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

19. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

20. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

Ok --- my personal favorite:

21. If all else fails, just turn the bottle up and drink it, nothing will matter anymore anyway!

bwahahahaha

Four all who reed and right!!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;

but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,

and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught,

why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

in which your house can burn up as it burns down,

in which you fill in a form by filling it out and

in which an alarm goes off by going on.

If Dad is Pop, how come Mom isn't Mop?

Author Unknown or is it Knotknown?

You gotta love English (and vodka!), doncha?

What else? I guess it's time for an actual rather than a fake entry I was so tempted to just leave.

Appreciate me or don't.

Ok, I wrote a half ER half life entry on Thursday so I guess that means I have to recap yesterday and today. That shouldn't be THAT bad, right? Ok, so it might be that bad, but you'll deal. ;)

Ok. Where the fuck do I need to start? Honestly I haven't a clue. Well, I can start with the fact that I seem to curse, at least in here, far too much. No, I'm just cursing in general far too much. Of course, much of the time it's when I'm by myself, like in the car, but nonetheless I'm cursing. It is amusing when "fuck" and "thus" are used in the same sentence. I am good though and do for the most part limit myself to "hell," "shit," and "crap" in everyday conversations. I'm a good person. bwahahaha.

Ok, so I'm going to start yet another paragraph off with ok. That is NO good, it's becoming the "ultimately" of my euro paper! NOOOOO!!! We don't want to repeat that now do we? No, we don't.

Ok, yes I said it again, Friday was a rather bizarre day. I mean absolutely nothing happened yet stuff did. Yes, I am a walking contradiction, but I think we have all since known that. Anyway, FRIDAY. I woke up at 8:20, dragged, and I mean dragged, myself out of bed. I got to bed early enough, but I couldn't get up. I forced myself to the shower and then to the computer before freaking myself out with the realization that I had a crapload of homework and studying to do. I ran down to the CHAT, grabbed breakfast, and ran back up the stairs (nearly killing myself) and started doing stuff. I got the homework done and started studying French before heading to class. French quiz was easy. Everyone was complaining it was hard, but Ali and I both thought it was the easiest one yet. Who the hell knows? She mentioned that spring break next year, PARIS! ID 1somethingsomething-Paris. 4 credits, meets once a week and then 10 days in Paris for spring break1 How fucking awesome does that sound??? We'll see though.

After French I ran over to the bookstore and bought 2 pens. What can I say, I left my pen in my room and it was quicker to buy one and avoid being late to class. I don't think I informed y'all about my pen saga over the past few days. In Euro Wednesday, I started to take notes just to find out that my black ball point pen was dead. I switched over to a pencil, but that made doodling increadibly challenging so I switched to the red pen in my calender thing. I stuck with that, but it wasn't fun to draw with and basically made a mess. I forgot about pen issues when I went to Speech Class on Thursday and wasn't happy. I got another black pen out when I got backt ot he room, but managed to use it for something else Friday morning and didn't take it with me. Anyway, I got a nice pen with black ink and an ok blue ink pen. Euro went FAR better with good ink! My margins were VERY happy! Yay! Anyway, Haywood eliminated some of the questions from question sheets for the midterm, though basically everything still needs to be studied. Joy. Took notes and then enjoyed an English class from hell, of course, they're all from hell so I can't exactly say it was much of a surprise.

Ok. Next I headed to the dining hall basically for the sole purpose of stealing apples for my riding lesson. I had some food, but not really. I love stealing food. I got back to the room and wasted time online before packing up and heading to Greylyn. I got there about 4:45 and ended up grabbing Monet. Kenzie was colicing so that wasn't very good. I spend a while grooming her thanks to her need to be lying down in her hay, eating, when I when out to grab her. To make matters worse, she also decided to roll in the hay WHILE I am standing there. Thanks a lot Monet. Gaaah. Anyway, I tacked her up around 20 after 5 expecting Barb to be there. 5:30 came and she wasn't. Then around 25 of someone told me she already left so I went over to talk to Allison who told me just to get on and ride with her. So as I'm getting on, Barb walks in and I stupidly ask her if she was teaching and she gives me a weird look and says "yeah I told you I would" so I get on and walk around and we end up going out to the upper ring because Allison's students were taking over the world in the indoor. We both decided that whoever told me she left was an idiot (and later incidents came to confirm that). So anyway, we got up there and I trotted Monet around for a bit and then worked on sitting trot (Barb's attempt to kill me, but what else is new? Plus since my sitting trot sucks so much I needed it)... Anyway, where was I? We basically spent the rest of the lesson working on the triple. Wasn't much, just a x to an x to a vertical, but fun anyway. I managed to improve through the lesson which made life better. Considering how sucky Wednesday's lesson was, I was very happy. I managed not to throw my hands too much and then learned to sit back after jumps, so :) Yeah so we stayed up till it got kind of dark and then headed down. I had fun though so, yeah. She said once it gets warmer I can start riding Tony. Yay for me!

I'll finish this up with the aftermath of my lesson later. dinner soon.



Last Five Entries

Peter Jennings - 2005-08-08
- - 2005-08-08
night i'd not like to repeat - 2005-06-20
- - 2005-06-19
so i'll update - 2005-06-07


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